Anyone who has read this magazine for any length of time knows that the Old Soldier is a great fan of dialogue for moving a story forward and for characterizing the speaker. It is my opinion that there is nothing more powerful for making a story seem real than well-written dialogue.
When a reader reads a piece of fiction the dialogue seems to sound in the mind of the reader. That is pretty powerful stuff.
So, if you are a writer you want to work on writing dialogue that sounds authentic in the mind of the reader.
Sex is one of the great subjects for a serious writer to write about. Here’s a story about sex that I wrote a few weeks ago that I think illustrates the power of dialogue.
If you write flash fiction, send me something. It does not have to deal with sex. The Submissions tab is at the top of the page.
Young Married Life
“I want you to do something special for me,” he said.
“What’s that?” she said.
“Masturbate for me.”
“Masturbate? Why would I do that? You’re right here beside me.”
“It would be something different.”
“For me. Do it for me.”
“But you’re my husband.”
“Sit up. Let’s put the pillows behind you so you’re comfortable and just lay back and let me watch.”
“You really want me to do this?”
“You really want me to masturbate?”
“Okay…I mean if that’s really what you want…Okay…I’m masturbating.”
“Wonderful. That’s good. That’s real good.”
“I feel like I’m in a porn movie.”
Several minutes passed.
“How close are you?”
“I’m getting there.”
“You’re such a good wife.”
“You’re a terrible husband.”
“No. You’re really a wonderful husband.”
“Thank you, honey.”
“Matt, aren’t you going to even kiss me?”
“You’re doing fine.”
“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
“Are you close?”
“I’m getting there. Yes, I’m getting there. It won’t be long.”
“That’s my girl…That’s my baby…That’s the wild woman I married.”
“I’m almost there…almost there…almost there…almost…yeah…yeah…yeah…”
“Don’t hold back. Don’t hold back.”
“Matt! Honey! Oh, Honey! Oh…Oh..Oh…oh, yeah…oh, yeah. Oh, my god. Oh, yeah…That…was…a… good…one.”
“I could tell. You are so bad.”
“Now let’s finish up. Just stay where you are…All right…Say, honey, fill my mouth with cum.”
“Honey, fill my mouth with cum…”
“Okay, keep sucking…Say, honey, I want to swallow every drop.”
“Honey, I want to swallow every drop…”
“Keep sucking…keep sucking…keep sucking…Sweetheart, say, your cum taste like the honey from the honey bee.”
“I’m not going to say that.”
“Okay, forget that. Just keep sucking…keep sucking…keep sucking…”
- 10 Things You Can Do With Dialogue (pittsburghflashfictiongazette.com)
- How To Write Better Sex Stories (pittsburghflashfictiongazette.com)
- The Home Of Erotic Flash Fiction (pittsburghflashfictiongazette.com)