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One may ask what the “Mayday Malone Principle” is? Sam Malone was a bartender on the NBC hit series Cheers back in the 80s and early 90s. “Mayday” was the nickname given to him in his so-called Major League Baseball playing days. “Mayday” was a smooth ladies man who never seemed to be short on dates. Beautiful and the not so beautiful would flock to him. Was it because of his so-called career in baseball or was it because he owned a bar?
Bar owners have a certain mystique that surrounds them. Most everyone who comes into a bar judges the place and critiques the owner. Why does he sell these drafts? Who picked the color scheme? Why did he lay out the bar in this fashion? Etc…Women tend to be a bit more judgmental than men. Why, I have no idea why but when I go to bars I analyze the layout and theme myself. I guess it’s human nature to do so.
Back to the “Mayday Malone Principle”. For some strange reason there is a certain type of woman who finds bar owners very intriguing. These women come in all shapes and sizes both young and old and also from all classes of society. The women know what they want and go out of their way to flirt and pursue bar owners. Whether the owner is married or single, the women have one thing in mind. How am I going to get the owner in bed? The lengths that some of these women would go to are incredible. They range from bringing home cooked meals to actually flashing owners and groping them. Personal experiences with me are and were women walking into the men’s room while I was going to the bathroom, wandering into my office in the basement, walking into my kitchen flashing me and the ever so clever just grabbing my crotch and telling me at the bar that they would like to screw my brains out.
Bar owners have a certain mystique that surrounds them. Most everyone who comes into a bar judges the place and critiques the owner. Why does he sell these drafts? Who picked the color scheme? Why did he lay out the bar in this fashion? Etc…Women tend to be a bit more judgmental than men. Why, I have no idea why but when I go to bars I analyze the layout and theme myself. I guess it’s human nature to do so.
Back to the “Mayday Malone Principle”. For some strange reason there is a certain type of woman who finds bar owners very intriguing. These women come in all shapes and sizes both young and old and also from all classes of society. The women know what they want and go out of their way to flirt and pursue bar owners. Whether the owner is married or single, the women have one thing in mind. How am I going to get the owner in bed? The lengths that some of these women would go to are incredible. They range from bringing home cooked meals to actually flashing owners and groping them. Personal experiences with me are and were women walking into the men’s room while I was going to the bathroom, wandering into my office in the basement, walking into my kitchen flashing me and the ever so clever just grabbing my crotch and telling me at the bar that they would like to screw my brains out.
All encounters start with harmless flirtation on both the owner’s and customer’s part. More often than not it leads to a sexual encounter. It’s scary for an ordinary looking guy such as myself having this occur to me. At first it was a little scary and then it became common place and now it’s a pain-in-the-ass. In the first year of owning my little dive bar I went through over 40 women. A lot of them knew each other, a lot of them were friends. I found out that they would talk to each other about their encounters with me. The more I tried to end the “Mayday Malone Principle” the harder the women tried. I found out that not paying attention to them fueled the fire inside of them more and more. The more I resisted the crazier they got. My second year I slept with over 60 women. I could have slept with a bunch more but I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was tired of living this lifestyle, the thrill wasn’t worth the new-found headaches that it caused. It’s also not good for business, lesson learned.
With the Old Soldier’s permission, I shall submit one new encounter every month starting with the soon to be written “Stripper’s, Booze and Tap Handles” a dive bar owner’s tale……..
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The author is a shot and beer small Tavern owner. He has been in business for over 14 years at the same location. He is middle-aged but lives life like a 22-year-old.
