Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette

This will be the Old Soldier’s second post in less than four hours.  I’m on a roll!

It’s around 11:00 am and the Old Soldier just finished off a salad for breakfast and he’s back at the workstation.  Sunlight is pouring through my windows and I’ve got the 24-hour news station on the radio.

Life is good.

Dialogue plays an important role in any work of fiction: plays, novels, short stories and flash fiction.  But since flash fiction is so short, dialogue takes on even more importance.  And since much of a flash fiction story has to be implied, much of the information in the dialogue is also implied.

Don’t shy away from using dialogue in your flash fiction.  Nothing brings a story to life like good dialogue.  Good dialogue is very difficult to write.  Good dialogue will imply many things: character, tension, the personality of the speaker, the quality of the relationship between the speakers and other things.  At the same time the dialogue has to efficiently move the story to resolution.

There is no easy way to learn how to write good dialogue.  Read the masters.  See how they use dialogue.  Study their dialogue.  I studied the dialogue of Hemingway and Raymond Carver.

The following story is from the archives.  I wrote it with the lessons I had learned from Hemingway and Carver very much on my mind.

*****

Young Married Life

“I want you to do something special for me,” he said.

“What’s that?” she said.

“Masturbate for me.”

“Masturbate?  Why would I do that?  You’re right here beside me.”

“It would be something different.”

“Honey…”

“For me.  Do it for me.”

“But you’re my husband.”

“Sit up. Let’s put the pillows behind you so you’re comfortable and just lay back and let me watch.”

“You really want me to do this?”

“Yes, really.”

“You really want me to masturbate?”

“Yes.  Really.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Okay…I mean if that’s really what you want…Okay…I’m masturbating.”

“Wonderful.  That’s good.  That’s real good.”

“I feel like I’m in a porn movie.”

Several minutes passed.

“How close are you?”

“I’m getting there.”

“You’re such a good wife.”

“You’re a terrible husband.”

“Really?”

“No.  You’re really a wonderful husband.”

“Thank you, honey.”

“Matt, aren’t you going to even kiss me?”

“You’re doing fine.”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“Are you close?”

“I’m getting there.  Yes, I’m getting there.  It won’t be long.”

“That’s my girl…That’s my baby…That’s the wild woman I married.”

“I’m almost there…almost there…almost…yeah…yeah…yeah…”

“Don’t hold back.  Don’t hold back.”

“Matt!  Honey!  Oh, Honey!  Oh…Oh..Oh…oh, yeah…oh, yeah.  Oh, my god.  Oh, yeah…That…was…a… good…one.”

“I could tell.  You are so bad.”

“I’m bad.”

“Now let’s finish up.  Just stay where you are…All right…Say, honey, fill my mouth with cum.”

“Honey, fill my mouth with cum…”

“Okay, keep sucking…Say, honey, I want to swallow every drop.”

“Honey, I want to swallow every drop…”

“Keep sucking…keep sucking…keep sucking…Sweetheart, say, your cum taste like the honey from the honey bee.”

“I’m not going to say that.”

“Okay, forget that.  Just keep sucking…keep sucking…keep sucking…”

The End

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Filed under: Writing Flash Fiction | Tagged: a woman's naked butt, fill my mouth with cum, flash fiction, Hemingway, how to, masturbate, porn movie, Raymond Carver, writing great dialogue, young married life | 1 Comment »